Firstly, and most importantly, no other person can ever make you feel a certain way. This is an important foundation to live yourself and thus teach your children. You are the only person who chooses how you feel and what you subscribe to. Yes, it is true that people make comments that do not feel so great as they lack understanding, support, love and are fueled with judgment. However, if I told you the grass was pink, when in fact it is green, would you believe me? No. So why do you subscribe to the belief that someone says you are bad mum, when in fact you are the opposite?
Mothering is not who you are, it is what you do.
Mothering requires A LOT of skills, albeit mothering/parenting does not come with a manual that is free of judgment. Everyone has their own opinion of what makes a good parent and what doesn’t. Hindsight is a great thing with parenting. Often we look back and say “If I had my time again I would do that differently”.
But what a beautiful thing is hindsight. An opportunity to reflect and see what we have learnt while appreciating what we have offered.
There is no one perfect parent thus my advice to you is stop listening to other parents and learn to trust yourself. You do innately know how to parent when you parent from your heart and not your head.
Accept the other parents, children, #family for who they are and don’t judge them for what they do.
- You too like to be accepted for who you are.
- Bring understanding. There is no right or wrong way of parenting. Everyone is on their own learning path.
- Offer support if and when they so choose to ask.
- Reflect a way of parenting that offers a way for them to observe, learn and apply in their own life when they so choose to.
This article was originally published in the May 2018 Edition of Haven Magazine.